The Tiny Box
by celadeschanel
Summary: She put him in a tiny box. But, is it time to let him out?
1. It's a beautiful day

First thing I'd like to say is: Thank you very much Esmeralda Bracho and Ilaria Marilli.

Near or far.

**THE TINY BOX**

By Marcela Costa

_Chapter One – It's a beautiful day_

**Seattle International Airport **

Addison felt her arteries strengthening by the second. Her blood ran through so fast that she could almost feel her skin being lifted by the muscular walls of her vessels at every heartbeat. Her wheeled suitcase loudly rolled against the floors and her heels exerted a sharp pain on her feet. Her sadness was subtle on the outside, but she was crying frantically on the inside. It was over.

_Flashback. _

_September of 1993._

Her right hand felt heavy, but nice. His soft fingertips touched her naked back slowly and she couldn't help a smile.

"Derek." That was all she could say. "I love you so much." He held his hand with hers and kissed it firmly. Her felt her ring finger's diamond pressing against his skin. "I love you more, Addison. And in two weeks, it'll be official." Addison turned around and kissed Derek's lips, wrapping her hands around his neck and pulling him closer. She whispered in his ear: "Can't wait."

_End of flashback_

She ran to the check-in lobby and found her airlines quickly enough. Trying to look as normal as possible, she walked to the business class counter.

"Can I have your name, ma'am?" A girl appearing to be in her early twenties stared Addison down.

"It's Addison Shepherd." She said, indifferently, taking a deep breath.

"And where are you headed today, Mrs. Shepherd?" For a moment, Addison felt a tiny bit more comforted just to hear someone calling her "Mrs. Shepherd".

"I'm headed to Los Angeles, California."

"Okay," the girl typed rapidly. "And how many bags are you checking in today, Mrs. Shepherd?"

"None. I left it all behind."

"Okay," a shiny card came out of the printer slowly. "Here's your boarding pass. Gates open in fifteen minutes. Take a seat."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome." Addison walked to the benches in the airport hall and sat down at the only empty chair. Taking a deep breath, she realized that maybe this wasn't so hard. It was an airplane, a seven hour flight like many others she'd taken before. She was moving away, but it's not like she left anything vital behind. Less than ten minutes later, her phone rang loudly. She opened her Prada leather maxi-bag, took out her phone and, without looking, answered it.

"Dr. Montgomery speaking."

"Addison?"

That voice. That voice who brought tears to her eyes every time she heard it, the voice that would never let her let go, the voice she would never get over, but, yet, the voice for which she would give her life and she had no doubt she would never stop loving. "I'm sorry, Addison, I didn't mean to call you! Wrong number!"

"Derek?" Like always, when Addison was speechless, "Derek" was the only word that made its way out of her lips.

"Yeah, it's me. How are you holding up?" There were so many things she wanted to say to that, but, there was only one thing she could say.

"I'm just fine, Derek. I'm holding up just fine." Every word sounded like a bullet to her heart. She was so obviously not fine.

"Must be hard to leave Seattle after two years, huh?" Addison felt like laughing ironically. "And you think it's easy to leave you after eleven years." She thought, silently.

"Pretty much. But, I'll live very well in L.A. You know what, Derek? My flight just started boarding! I gotta go. Talk to you later." She didn't really want to hang up, and her flight wasn't actually boarding, but, talking to him was a pain she wasn't just yet in shape to bear. She put her phone away and inhaled deeply, throwing her hair behind her ears. She pressed her fists against her knees strongly, as if trying to get rid of the emotional pain by inflicting physical pain. Dr. Montgomery was right. She had a sudden release of endorphins that were just enough for her to stand up and walk to the boarding gate as her flight number was called out in the air.

**Seattle Grace Hospital**

"Shepherd! There's a patient for you!" Richard Webber screamed across the hall, but, Derek, even though leaning against the counter in the main hall five feet away, didn't seem to have his mind in place. "Shepherd!" He raised his voice even louder, this time, running towards him. "Dr. Derek Shepherd, is it daydream time, or do I still have my chief of neurosurgery?"

"Sorry, sir." Derek woke up in a gentle spasm.

"Mrs. Dickinson? Does that ring a bell?"

"Oh, yeah, the, umm… blond woman who has… a brain tumor, is it?" Derek scratched his forehead, as if trying to get a memory buried deeply into his frontal lobe.

"Mrs. Dickinson has neurocisticercosis. What am I doing? I should expect a certain level of distraction from you today, Derek. Giving the current…" Richard searched for a word to say "departures." He completed, awkwardly.

"I can still operate, sir. I'm still a surgeon."

"I know, and a very competent one. Which is why I'm here as your chief to tell you to man up and get yourself together. This woman needs you."

Derek looked up, taking a deep breath and wiping the sweat of his face with the back of his hands. "But, Derek," Derek looked at the chief "I'm here as your friend to say something else. She loved you. She loved you very much."

Derek pretended he didn't know exactly who the chief was talking about. "Who loved me?"

"Addison." The chief said soberly. Derek just wanted to hear her name, but was too afraid to say it himself.

"I know."

"You can count on her whenever you want. Addison is the kind of person who doesn't give up on eleven years."

"I know, chief. Thank you."

"This is why you don't have to worry about anything but this surgery. Remember what you always say, it's a beautiful day to save lives!" Derek, for the first time in his life, felt intrigued by his own motto. "Remember it." The chief walked away in slow steps, turning around to check on Derek every five seconds.

Derek leaned against the counter again, this time, holding his head with his right hand, and leaving his left sitting on the counter, in front of him. A nurse approached and tapped him on the back.

"Is everything okay, Dr. Shepherd?"

Derek raised his eyes. "Yes, everything is fine."

"For a moment there it seemed like you were-" The nurse hesitated to speak again "crying."

"I'm fine." He stared at his wedding ring, still wrapping his finger closely. "_It's a beautiful day._"


	2. Life after you

**Thanks for reviewing, peeps!**

_Chapter Two – Life after you_

He woke up at exactly sunrise, but, stayed in bed looking at the ceiling for another hour, thinking about everything that happened in the last few years. It was a whirlwind – one minute he was happily married, coming home to his wife every night and giving her a kiss, thanking God they were together. The next, he walks in on her naked, sweaty, writhing body rolling around with his best friend in bed. Five minutes later, after a whim of moving to Seattle, she magically reappears, to his utter surprise. It was like he could get a grip of his old life again. Not the sex with his best friend part, but the happily married part. She wanted to and he wanted to, but he had too much pride to say that it was actually partly his fault. But, he couldn't deny it. Even though he was having very much fun with Meredith, seeing her blue eyes hit his like a bullet woke something up inside him. And, now, she was gone. Gone somewhere he would very hardly see her.

The blond woman next to him woke up.

"Good morning." She said, weakly and slowly, moving her eyelids and unravelling bright blue pupils.

"Good morning, Meredith." He said, kissing her forehead and forcing a smile.

"Did you just wake up?" She rubbed her hands in her face.

"No, not really. I was just here thinking."

"About what?"

"Addison." He said, without hesitating. Meredith grimaced.

"What a choice of thoughts." She gave a squeaky laugh. "Addison?"

"Yes." Derek's voice was firm and strong. "She left. It's kind of weird."

"I thought you were happy to get rid of her." Meredith stood up and walked to the bathroom.

"Yeah, but, I mean, we were still friends…"

"Don't you want us to be together?" Meredith turned around and faced him, staring at his face with piercing eyes.

"Of course I do!"

"Then, why are you still thinking about her?"

"Don't be so jealous, Meredith."

"Jealous? Me? I'm sorry if I don't want my boyfriend, who it took me too long to find and then-" Meredith expatiated about why she should be jealous, and why Derek was cheating on her in his mind by thinking about Addison. Derek turned his face to the pillow and pressed his eyelids shut. "You need to grow up, Meredith." He thought, right before feeling his mind falling back to sleep. 

**Los Angeles International Airport**

"Did you have a good flight?" Naomi asked, opening her car door for Addison to get in.

"Normal. You know, I'm kind of sad because I'm leaving Seattle. I had a life there. I had a husband there."

"Ex-husband."

"Right."

"Addison, if you wanna get over him, get over all of them, you need to let go. You need to let yourself forget." When hearing this phrase, Addison felt like she was started to rethink her decision and find it just slightly impulsive.

"Okay." She said, not thinking.

"Did you really have to leave all your clothes there?"

"Gotta spend my trust fund."

"We can go shopping someday. But, you know what? It's actually good. Leave everything of your old life behind."

"That's what I was thinking." Addison lied.

"So, did you get the address to your new house?" Naomi asked, without taking her eyes off the traffic.

"Yeah, it's in Ocean Ave." Said Addison, confidently.

"Oh, you're living in the same street the practice is located!"

"Oh, the practice is in Ocean Ave? Then, sorry, my house is at Beverly Hills Boulevard."

"Crap." Naomi said.

"What? Is it far from the practice?"

"Sam lives there." Addison rolled her eyes.

"Come on, Naomi, you two need to grow up!"

"Oh, and of course you and your ex-husband are so mature!"

"What? Derek and I have a great relationship!"

"And, yet, here you are, living 900 miles away from him."

Addison felt like she could actually cry.

**Half-past midnight, Mercy Hospital, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. **

Dr. Olivia Lennon sorted through her papers. She looked everywhere but couldn't find a way around that problem. It was like a puzzle, with all the pieces in front of her, but, she didn't quite have the skills to put them together and find a solution.

"Still there, Liv?" Dr. Frank Harbour, her best friend, came in.

"I can't seem to find a way to save these babies without killing the mother. Or save the mother without killing the babies."

"The TTTS case?"

"Yeah. The mother has a massive aneurysm that will break during surgery on the twins for sure. And if I don't operate on the twins, they will die for sure."

"Can't you stop the aneurysm from breaking?"

"Yeah, using hemodillution, but, the twins would bleed out, or, we could put the brain on a hyperdynamic state, but, the twins wouldn't get enough blood."

"Can't you do both surgeries at once?" All of a sudden, Olivia's mind lightened up like the fourth of July.

"Not me. But, I know a person who can. Actually, two people." Olivia reached for her cell phone and called a number rapidly. "I hope she didn't change her number."

The woman on the other side of the line picked up.

"Dr. Montgomery speaking."

"Addison? Is that you?"

"Yes, who am I speaking with, please?"

"It's Liv Lennon, we were residents together, remember?"

"Liv! Yeah, of course! How have you been doing lately?"

"I've been fine… Moved to Pittsburgh, I'm running a neonatal department here. Which is why I wanted to talk to you."

"What's wrong?"

"I've got a case and I know you're the only one who can save these woman's babies."

"Oh, my God, Liv, what is it?"

"I'll tell you all about it. But I really need you, Addie."

"Sure, Liv, I'll do what I can!"

"There's one 'but', though."

"What?"

"You gotta bring your husband."


	3. It takes two

**Thank you for the amazing reviews!**

_Chapter three – It takes two_

"What do you mean she's not even starting today? Things are packed here, Naomi!"

"She had to save a baby's life! Two babies, Sam!"

"We need her in this practice!"

"She's a doctor first, Sam, human life comes first!"

"You bring someone in without telling us, and now you can't even keep her? You sent her to Pittsburgh, for God's sake!"

"Who went to Pittsburgh?" Pete came in.

"Addison did."

"Addison?" Pete sounded surprised. "The redhead?"

"Yes." Sam and Naomi said at the same time.

"Why do you guys care?"

"Because she's working here when she gets back."

"Here?" Pete couldn't help a half-smile. "She's working here?"

"Don't even get your hopes up, buddy, she's still pretty attached to that ex-husband of hers."

"Yeah, I wonder how Derek's doing." Sam said, imagining himself ten years ago.

"She won't be attached once she sees me again!" Pete smiled widely "I'll detach her in no time!"

**Mercy Hospital**

"Addie!" Liv ran towards her friend and hugged her tightly. "Thank you so much for coming!"

"How are you, Liv?" Addison flashed a smile.

"I'm really worried about the babies."

"Don't worry, Liv, we'll do our absolute best."

"Where's Derek?"

"He should be coming in here any second now." Liv's eyes lit up.

"How's the marriage going?"

"Actually, we got divor-"

"Did someone order a neurosurgeon?" Before Addison could finish her sentence, Derek Shepherd barged into the hospital, exhaling intelligence and blue eyes.

"Derek!" Liv gave him a tight hug.

"How've you been, Liv?"

"Good! What were you saying, Addie?"

"Oh, nothing!" When Addison spoke, Derek's eyes turned to her.

"Addison." He said, with an enigmatic smile on his face. She could see the joy behind it, but it was concealed under a brick wall that was there for a reason she couldn't figure out.

"Derek." She took a few slow steps towards her husband, waiting for him to make the next move. Derek walked up to her and gently wrapped his arms around her inhaling the sweet smell of her hair and closing his eyelids slowly, as if trying to live that moment and nothing else. She let her face sink into his muscular shoulder and felt her lips contract in a bright smile. Feeling herself held so tight she could barely move her arms, by hands so loving and safe that she wasn't afraid of anything, was happiness she had missed experiencing.

"You guys are so made for each other!" Liv yelled, breaking the thick layer of fire that separated the couple from the rest of the world. "God must be so proud! C'mon, let's meet your patients." 

**Neonatal Ward**

They got to the door of the patient's room and Liv thought she should stop them.

"This patient is in a lot of pain. Emotional pain. She's trying to keep her cool, you know, be positive? But, in her situation, I don't think I'd be able to do it. So, let's not be harsh, okay?"  
Addison took a deep breath, imagining how unthinkably hard the patient's situation was. Derek reached for her hand, gently wrapping her fingers with his. His warm touch calmed her and she was sure that was exactly what he was trying to do.

Liv opened the door.

Inside the room, there was a pretty girl, early thirties. Her light brown silky hair fell on her shoulders, making large waves like a waterfall. Her bright blue eyes had also shades of green and illuminated everything around her. She was tall and slim, and her even skin was glowing under the light. To the average person on the street, she was a normal pregnant woman. Nobody would know she had a time bomb in her brain, waiting to burst out.

"Hello, Blair! How are you today?" Liv asked her, with a bright smile.

"As good as I can be, Dr. Lennon." She forced a smile, lying on her hospital bed. "Trying to live each day at a time."

"Good. I have brought you hope, Blair."

"Great!" Blair sounded unbelieving. "I've been in need for a lot of that."

"This is Dr. Shepherd." She pointed at Derek. "He is the head of neurosurgery at Seattle Grace Hospital."

"Nice meeting you, Dr. Shepherd."

"This guy can perform brain surgery just as easily as you can brush your teeth."

"Wait to go, champ." Blair brought a smile to her own face.

"And this is also Dr. Shepherd." She pointed to Addison. "And she is the head of Neonatal Surgery. And, by the way, that includes in-uterus procedures."

"Oh, another Dr. Shepherd!"

"Actually, I'm Dr. Mont-"

"She's my wife." Derek said, wrapping his arm around Addison's shoulder. That was the second time Derek kept her from saying they were divorced. Addison decided to play with it.

"Whoa, hot shot couple!" Blair smiled. "You must be so rich!" Liv was suddenly embarrassed.

"Forgive Blair, she tends to get a little carried away." Liv winked at Blair, who giggled like a naughty child.

"So, you'll operate on me?"

"And on your babies." Addison smiled.

"And at the same time." Derek completed. Addison couldn't help but notice how synchronized they were. Their minds – and their hearts – were thinking the exact same thing in the exact same time. She knew everything about him. She knew how much he loved ferries, she knew the shades of blue that mixed together in his eyes, she could map the lines in his hands and she could draw his most perfect smile like it was right there in front of her.

She knew all about him. And he knew all about her. And they were gonna work together to save this woman and her babies. Their minds fit together like pieces of a puzzle. And nobody could convince her that it wasn't meant to be.


	4. How to save a life

**Thank you all, and keep reviewing!**

**I'd like to dedicate this chapter to my parents and my grandfather. **

**And to all their fellow surgeons around the world. **

_Chapter Four – How to Save a Life_

Addison watched in pain as Blair's hair was cut by a sharp pair of scissors. Her large and long waves hit the floor and didn't bounce – they just lay there, staring at her, like a past to which she was about to wave goodbye. Blair didn't have a single tear coming out of her big greenish blue eyes.

"You're been very strong." She read Addison's lips. But, to Blair, there was nothing to be strong about. In a few hours, she was gonna be a normal pregnant woman, expecting beautiful and most importantly healthy twin girls. Addison went into the room to give her support.

"So, how are you doing?" She asked, giving Blair her best smile.

"I'm good. It's kind of weird, really. One moment I found out I was pregnant and I was so happy." Blair smiled, staring at the nothingness through the window. "No husband, you know? No nothing. It's just me and my girls. Emma and Juliette." Blair turned to Addison, smiling. "You know I'd picked out their names already? Even before I found out I was having twins? I figured, if I only have one baby, then I'll choose. But, for now, I have two names." Addison felt her lifelong desire to be a mother being set on fire inside her heart.

"And when I found out I had the aneurysm, I was just afraid it would burst during labor. But, what really killed me was finding out my babies were sick too." She took a deep breath. Addison had tears in her eyes. "It's actually kind of beautiful. My girls shared their _blood_. The most intimate pieces of themselves. Do you think they're gonna be close once they're born?"

"I'm sure they will!" She responded, trying to hide the tears. "Now, I gotta start preparing for your surgery, okay, Blair? Don't worry about anything." Addison left.

"Dr. Shepherd?" Blair yelled.

"Yes?"

"Dr. Lennon told me there were only eight doctors in the world that can perform this surgery."

"She is right."

"Thanks for being one of them."

**O.R. 2**

Derek was the first one to go into the O.R. As a surgeon, he had seen it all, but looking at such a young girl with so many wires connected to her body, he still felt a slight pain in his heart. Addison scrubbed in, staring at him through the glass and trying to give him her most confident look.

Derek stood in front of Blair's naked scalp, with his mask, scrub cap, gloves and surgical light on. He was ready to save some lives. With his hands standing firm, he grabbed the scalpel and started cutting into her fair skin. She could see the shiny red blood leaking from his cut and spreading through her head. He felt the hardness of the skull in thick friction with the tip of his scalpel, while he cut through skin and muscle. He then grabbed the bone saw and turned it on, causing a loud noise that made Addison shiver at scrub room, just waiting for her time to swoop in.

Derek put the spinning blade of the saw in contact with her now exposed skull. While bone dust came out, blurring his vision, he could feel the bone loosening and the top of her skull was coming out like a giant lid to a box where anything can happen. He kept on moving the bone saw slowly, completing the circumference of her head. When he finished, a large chunk of bone fell into his hands. He was at the dura mater. He pressed the saw further in, always careful, because as a neurosurgeon, he knew what came next.

_Brain. _

Seeing that amazing mass of neurons connecting together in such a particular way always made him fascinated and teary. He gave Addison the sign to come in.

Addison burst the door open with her back, holding up her hands, already covered by sterile gloves. Standing three feet away from Derek, on Blair's right side, Addison picked up both laparoscopes and positioned them on top of the patient's uterus, the only part of her abdomen that wasn't skilfully draped by the surgical interns. The tips of the scopes were pressing into Blair's skin, just waiting to break in. She looked at Derek. He nodded. _They were ready to roll._

Addison pierced Blair's skin mercilessly, staring at the monitor and waiting to see the familiar image of a woman's uterus appearing. She felt a rush of adrenaline when seeing layers of skin, fat and muscle being ripped apart by the scope. She saw the uterus on the screen and watched as the two babies moved subtly, without struggling against each other's heart. Addison then realized Blair was right. These two girls will be the closest sisters can be when they're born. TTTS babies are usually agitated, moving around swiftly, trying to get away from each other's net of vessels wrapping them together. But Juliette and Emma were just there. Enjoying the ride.

Meanwhile, Derek's agile neuroscope poked around Blair's brain, looking for the little bastard. All her vessels seemed perfectly healthy, and they reflected the advantage of being a perfectly healthy 33 year old woman. He started to think the doctors may be wrong about this. Maybe she didn't have an aneurism after all.

But, suddenly, endless amounts of blood started pouring out of her brain. Derek's vision was completely compromised. He started suction, but still, it was too much blood. The aneurism had burst.

Addison saw what was happening and stepped away from the laparoscope, holding it still, feeling it hanging on Blair's amniotic fluid. If she made the slightest move, she would burst the babies' fragile vessels and ruin _everything_. She could see Derek's desperate face, and she fought the shivers that came all over her body while her heart pounded, insane.

Derek could finally see the broken aneurysm. He picked up a vein and started making up a bypass. His moves were slow and precise, but, he couldn't help but constantly think about what he'd done. He'd burst a patient's aneurysm. That was making him very nervous. He decided not to leave that O.R. until he made sure the patient wasn't brain damaged.

Addison couldn't move. It wasn't because it was dangerous, and it wasn't because she didn't want to. Her muscles were literally paralyzed. Her eyes were glued to the babies' monitor, watching every glitch in the heart rate, every change in the O2 saturations. Her hands couldn't move the scopes, touching the brittle walls of an unborn child's aorta.

Derek carefully micro sutured the veins together, creating a brain bypass. His movements were now microscopically precise. But, all of a sudden, a huge beeping noise took over the room. The babies' heart rate had gone dangerously low.

Addison woke up. Her hands became skilful tools that moved rapidly to fix the problem. The scope travelled freely through Blair's uterus, cutting the twins vessels exactly where they needed to be cut. The babies' heart rate climbed up to the 120s. _All was well_.

**One hour later, still in O.R. 2 **

"She's waking up." Addison poked Derek with the tip of her fingers, talking stuffily from behind her mask. "Derek, she's waking up." They both looked straight into Blair's face, waiting for her eyes to open completely.

"What…" Blair outlined a word. "What happened?" When she completed a sentence, Derek realized how good of a job he and Addison had done. A bright smile took over his face and he ripped his mask off.

"What happened is that this amazing doctor here," he wrapped his arm around Addison's shoulder "just saved your babies' life." Addison could feel the tears climbing up to her eyes and fought against them.

"And this guy," She said, hugging him back. "Just saved your life."

"And, now, we're gonna let you rest in your own room, okay?" Derek asked. "Nurse!"

When the nurse came in to take Blair away, she looked at both of them and mouthed the two words they wanted to hear.

"_Thank… You."_

When she completely left the room, Addison and Derek ran to the scrub room. Derek looked into Addison's eyes and noticed that they had tears running from them. He peeled off his gloves and touched her face with the tip of his fingers.

"Don't cry." He said, in a low, smoky voice.

"I'm not crying." She said, walking backwards and throwing her gloves in the garbage. He walked towards her.

"Yes, you are." He pressed her back against the scrub room wall and wrapped his hands around Addison's waist. Addison felt her heart beating faster by the second. "And I don't ever wanna see you cry."

Derek's blue eyes were looking at her with amazing passion. She stared at them, trying to picture that moment and leave it in her memory forever. She had to have a piece of Derek with her always and she had to find a way to be with him at all times. She wrapped her hands around his neck, as if trying to pull him closer and never let him go. Derek leaned in. They both knew what would happen next.

Derek ripped the mask off Addison's face and kissed her lips fiercely. She hugged his neck with all her strength, and wrapped her leg around his, feeling his radiating heat spread through her whole body. He pressed his eyes shut, praying to never wake up from that dream. All of a sudden, he felt so stupid for letting her go. Even more suddenly, he found himself wishing he could take everything back.

Her fingertips gently caressed his hair and made him get shivers all over his spine. Derek's warm hands were holding Addison's back that now, instead of pressing against the wall, was relaxed, falling into Derek's arms. Releasing herself completely for him.

That kiss was long and passionate, starved and tender. Every feeling everyone's ever felt was poured into that kiss, and for them, there was nothing else happening in the world.

Derek finally let her go, feeling her fall into his arms, burying her face in his shoulders. Her warm tears wet his scrubs and her red soft hair released an arousing scent, which made him dizzy.

"_I will always be with you._" Derek whispered in her ear, running his fingers through her hair and inhaling deeply. Addison couldn't speak.

"_Derek._"


	5. Forever and always

**THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR REVIEWING!**

_Chapter 5 – Forever and Always_

"Stop crying!" Derek giggled, wiping the tears off Addison's face. Addison laughed and pressed her lips strongly against his. Derek pulled her waist tighter and lifter her off the floor. Addison could feel herself fly.

"Why?" She asked, finally able to speak again.

"Why what?"

"_Why did we let go?_" Addison touched his face with her fingertips; gently caressing his skin and feeling him shiver at every touch. "Why did we let something so good just fade away?"

Derek put his hand over hers and moved it from his face to his lips, kissing it gently. "I have no idea." He closed his eyes. Addison's smoky voice relaxed him. "But, you're here now. And it doesn't matter." He opened them again and stared at her pretty face. "It doesn't matter what we did before or why we did it." His tone resembled a whisper. "It doesn't matter what we'll do later on. All that matters is that I have you now, and I can keep you safe and loved. All you have to do is say yes." He leaned in and kissed Addison's neck slowly, feeling her inhale deeply.

"I say yes." She whispered. He looked into her eyes.

"You say yes." He flashed his best and brightest smile. She kissed his cheek loudly and laughed.

"Think about it, Derek: You have become an adulterous bitch!" Derek laughed loudly.

"I like being an adulterous bitch! It's kind of fun!"

"You do?" Addison kissed him again, and Derek held her closer and closer to him. And they felt they could stay in that moment forever.

**The Pittsburgh Plaza**

By the time they got to the room, Derek was already shirtless. Addison's nails were pressing into his back to the point of almost bleeding. He threw himself on the king-size bed, bringing Addison with him.

Addison kicked off her suede shoes, lifting Derek's jeans with her foot covered with woollen pantyhose. Derek unzipped her shirt, watching it slowly loosen and fall to the ground, revealing her lace bra. He ran his fingers through her naked back, feeling every inch of her silky even skin. He had missed that feeling that made his whole body spasm gently.

Pieces of clothing fell on the floor repeatedly and the Egyptian linen sheets were getting more and more disorganized. Derek ran his hands all over her thy, sinking his fingers into her hips and feeling all her muscles shaking. Addison's warm lips were now pressed against his neck and her hands examined every inch of his body. And the night carried out a flashback she did not want to end.

**ONE HOUR LATER**

"Screw your flight! Let's stay here!" Derek pulled a now fully dressed Addison by her hand.

"Derek, I really gotta go back to California!"

"No, to hell with California!" He pulled her more strongly, and she fell on top of him, noticing he had nothing covering his body but thin sheets. "Let's go back to Seattle." He gave her a quick kiss.

"I wish I could, Derek, but, I gotta at least settle things in L.A." She sat up on the bed. "As much as I do wanna stay with you." He kissed her cheek.

"I understand." He sat up beside her and held her hand.

"Thanks for understanding, Derek." She smiled. Things were quiet for thirty seconds, until Derek was the first to speak.

"You used to call me honey." Addison laughed. How could she let someone that cute go? Derek pulled her by the back of her head and kissed her. Addison felt like she could ditch her flight and stay there, but, instead, her reason and soberness kicked in.

"Bring me to the airport." She whispered, getting up from the bed.

"I'll get dressed."

"Thanks, _honey_."

**PIT – Pittsburgh International Airport**

"So, you've checked in, you've found your gate, what's next?"

Addison's heart hurt. "Boarding."

"Don't board." Derek's face was so sad Addison wanted to cry. "Please, don't board. Stay here with me." He wrapped his arms around Addison's waist. "There are so many things I still have to tell you."

"I have two hours until I have to board. What do you say we get some coffee?"

**Starbucks coffee**

"I was thinking about it the day you left." Derek started, taking a sip of his latte. "I thought I didn't love you anymore. I thought Meredith was the one for me. And I thought that, once you were gone, I wouldn't even notice. But, the truth is, I did. I noticed you were gone, I felt you were gone, I saw that nothing was the same without you. And Meredith came to talk to me and not even she was the same! I realized I liked her much more when you were around to call her the twelve-year-old." Addison giggled.

"Not only did I notice you were gone, I noticed how empty everything was without you. Poor Sloan cried all day. The interns asked Bailey every five minutes who would be the next gynnie girl. And Bailey said that nobody could compare. I struggled against my feeling that she was right.

I'll tell you a secret: That day I called you, I didn't dial the wrong number. I meant to call you. I meant to see if hearing your voice would fill that gigantic void left in my heart. And it did, Addie. And that feeling terrified me. I had a woman in Seattle, I had a life in Seattle, I couldn't discover I loved you the day you were leaving me. But, when I saw you in Pittsburgh, everything just fell into place.

I shouldn't be afraid of loving you! I shouldn't be afraid of wanting back something so good that I had for eleven years! It's not bad that I still love you, it's only human! And now I know that you are the one that I wanted."

"Is that why you kissed me in the scrub room?"

"I kissed you because I realized I couldn't wait. During the surgery, your face was covered with the mask, but, I could still see your eyes. And I could see that all you wanted to do was save those babies. I loved your majesty, I loved your intelligence, I loved your ability. I realized you had your looks and all that more. And I couldn't help but think about how Meredith _hadn't_.

I thought about why I was with Meredith and I couldn't think of a reason. That's when I realized how screwed up my life was. I let you go; I treated you like garbage the whole time you were in Seattle. I was a stupid proud bastard. And I realized it was maybe too late for me to make a move." Addison smiled. It was so not.

"And that's when I nicked Blair's aneurism." Addison felt weird.

"I was the reason you nicked the aneurism?"

"No! I nicked the aneurism all by myself. You were the reason I fixed it. I figured that if I didn't save that girl, you'd never talk to me again. I thought that if I let her die, you'd be so disappointed you wouldn't be able to look at me. And seeing the chance on that happening, I started working fast and precise. And I fixed it. And watching you fix the babies made me thing even deeper into it.

God made us healers. God made us life-savers. If we had argued and weren't speaking that day, that girl and her babies would've died. This was meant to be. You and me. _Addison and Derek._"

Addison took a deep breath. Meant to be.

"That's all I wanted to say. Can I ask you something now? In peace?"

"Of course."

"Why did you sleep with Mark that night?"

Addison didn't know what to say. "I got home at eight that night…"

_FLASHBACK _

Addison came out of her bedroom looking stunning. Red lipstick on, with a dress up to her thy, revealing long naked legs. She opened a bottle of wine and put on sexy music, sitting down on the couch to wait. She missed her husband.

Twenty minutes and almost a whole glass later, there was a knock on the door. Addison inhaled deeply and put her sexiest look on to open the door.

To Mark.

"Mark? What the hell are you doing here?" She asked, yelling and covering her legs.

"Why are you dressed like that, Addie?" Mark laughed, coming in.

"I'm waiting for my husband. And, by the way, did I tell you to come in?"

"Oh, I know you want me to come in, Addie. _Tu casa es mi casa_. That's how we roll." Mark sat down on the chair in front of her.

"What are you doing here, Mark?"

"Derek sent me. He asked me to come and tell you he'd be in a craniotomy."

"Shit." Addison blew on one of the candles on the table, putting it out. "That's the fourth night in a row he leaves me here all night."

"But, now I see he'd much rather be here! He was getting laid tonight!"

"Shut up, Mark. Nobody is getting laid."

"Only because you don't want to." Mark smiled.

"What are you suggesting?"

"Come on. I'm a man, you're a woman. We're both hot."

"Oh my God, Mark! You're sick!" Addison raised her ring finger to Mark's face.

"Hey, don't give me the finger!"

"I'm showing you my wedding ring, you genius."

"You know I have a thing for angry chicks?" Mark flashed an arousing smile.

"You're disgusting. I have a husband."

"Then why isn't he here right now?" Addison's mind was taken by a blind rage, and she immediately ran upstairs. Mark threw his jacket on the floor and ran after her. When they got to the bedroom, Addison ripped her dress apart in one single blow and pushed Mark on the bed, lying on top of him. They were naked in five minutes.

_END OF FLASHBACK_

"And that's when I heard steps. And you came into the bedroom. And our marriage was over."

Derek was speechless. "So, it was a normal fight between a husband and a wife?"

"We would've gotten past it."

"Oh, my God, Addison! I'm so sorry! I didn't even listen to you! I kicked you out of my house!"

Addison didn't know what to say.

"I threw your clothes on the sidewalk! I… _I said we weren't Derek and Addison anymore_." Derek sounded like he couldn't believe his own actions. "And when I came in and saw the candles, I thought you were having a long affair with him! But, that was all-"

"Yeah, Derek. It was all for you." Addison tried to say that in the nicest way she could. She couldn't make him cry. He was silent for a few seconds, struggling against tears of shame.

"What if hadn't sent Mark? What if I'd sent Liv or any other girl doctor?"

"We'd still be married."

"Oh, my God. I can't believe this. I'm such an ass. I don't deserve you, Addison Montgomery!"

"Are you kidding me? Of course you do!" Addison pressed her lips against his firmly. "Don't ever doubt it, Derek! You deserve me and much more!" All of a sudden, a number was called in the air.

"Passengers of flight AA2387, to Los Angeles, now boarding gate 5R."

"I gotta go." Addison said, standing up.

"I wanna make this up to you. Wait for me in L.A."

"Okay." Addison said, smiling.

"I love you." He said, kissing her passionately. She felt her heart about to burst out of her chest.

"I love you too." And walked away.


	6. Awake

**THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE REVIEWS! KEEP REVIEWING! BRAZIL LOVES YOU GUYS!  
**

Chapter 6 –Awake

* * *

"_I'm trying real hard not to shake. I'm biting my tongue, but I'm feeling alive and with every breathe that I take, I feel like I've won. You're my key to survival. And if it's a hero you want,  
I can save you. Just stay here. Your whispers are priceless. Your breath, it is dear. So please stay near. Will you stay awake for me? I don't wanna miss anything. I will share the air I breathe,  
I'll give you my heart on a string, I just don't wanna miss anything. Say my name. I just want to hear you. Say my name. So I know it's true. You're changing me. You showed me how to live.  
So just say. So just say: _

_That you'll stay awake for me."_

_**SecondHand Serenade – Awake**_

_**

* * *

**_

Addison put her suitcase on the overhead compartment and sat down slowly on the chair of the airplane. Pressing the soft fabric of her trench coat against her skin, she closed her eyes and felt the cold from the airplane being replaced by a heat that took over her mind and body. She ran her tongue through her lips and inhaled deeply. She could still fell Derek's sweet taste, and it made her muscles writhe in pleasure. "Passengers of flight AA2387" When the flight attendant's sweet voice hit her ears, her mind went back in time. "Attention…"

_FLASHBACK_

"Attention, Addie!" Naomi's hands touched Addison's face gently, carefully not to smudge her perfect make-up, looking deeply into her tear-filled eyes. "Out there, waiting for you, is the love of your life. You have one chance to make it perfect, and it is right now."

Addison looked around. Her vision was blurry from the tears, her artificially-curled hair fell to her face and her veil created a layer of white fog before her eyes. She was standing outside of a medieval cathedral, the long tall panel of stained glass made her shiver. She could hear the gentle noise that took over the church. She tried to calm herself down, but she felt her nerves surfacing, bursting from her skin. Derek's face came to her mind, but it was far away, surrounded by judging, elitist faces, looking at her with piercing eyes. Naomi spoke again, breaking her psychological coma.

"Are you ready to do this?" But, Addison couldn't speak. Her voice was locked inside her trachea. She wanted to speak, but, it was way too hard. "Addison, say something!" Naomi asked, already knowing what she was gonna say.

"Derek." Addison smiled, apologetically. Everybody knew. The only word that made its way out of her lips when she was speechless.

"I'll take that as a yes." Naomi said, pushing Sam aside and entwining her arm around his. Sam looked back. "It's gonna be great, Addie." He whispered. She knew it would.

Thirty seconds after they took their first step, Addison knew it was her time to walk down that aisle. Her eyes wouldn't move away from her white lacy shoes and her long legs shivered. She looked up, and all of a sudden, every muscle in her face eased.

Derek Christopher Shepherd stood in the end of that aisle, looking at her with a comforting, loving smile. She could see the blue lights that left his eyes. Mind-blowing. Earth-shattering. His rented tux hugged his body almost perfectly and every inch of his black hair was styled with millimetric perfection. Her eyes examined every cell of his body. It was like the tears evaporated magically and the whole world disappeared.

While she was walking in slow steps down the aisle, she could hear voices behind the noise of her heels against the floor.

"Who made that dress?"

"Is she blushing?"

"I hear she didn't want to spend her trust fund on this wedding."

If this were any other day, Addison would curse at the skies and regret deeply being a member of the American elite. But, today, only today, there was only one face in her mind, only one name in her dreams and only one word she dared to speak.

"Derek." She mouthed, again, involuntarily. Her steps were getting closer to him now and she could feel his radiating heat warming up her body. She looked at her mother's face. She had a proud smile. Derek was the only man she ever liked. "He's a brain surgeon" she used to say "he's a fine man."

Addison got right beside Derek and her entire body was taken by an unexpected numbness.

"You look beautiful" He whispered. And Addison couldn't remember the rest of the ceremony.

**Three hours later**

Addison had never seen Mark so drunk. He almost broke a glass of champagne when hitting it against Sam's.

"Sing your song, Derek!" He screamed. Addison heard Derek's laugh loudly into her ear, but, she knew he wasn't drunk. He was _blissful_. His arm was wrapped around Addison's shoulder and her head was resting on his chest, eyes closed, heart pounding. They were in the living room of their brownstone, ditching the wedding party, which was supposed to last all night.

Sam brought five bottles of champagne from the party, and it was already enough to make half the people drunk. The other five bottles on Addison's fridge were enough for the other half.

But, the newlyweds hadn't seen a sip of alcohol yet. They had spent the whole night just sitting there, hugging, inebriated by each other's presence.

"There's no song!" Derek screamed.

"Which song?" Addison asked.

"There's no song." Derek answered, pulling her head closer to his and pressing his lips against hers.

"Yeah, there's a song!" Naomi screamed. "Don't you remember, Derek? We wrote it on the day you decided to propose, remember?"

"I wanna hear the song." Addison whispered into Derek's ear.

"Alright, fine. But, you'll regret this!" Derek stood up, laughing, and picked up a guitar from the floor. His fingers moved the strings swiftly, making surprisingly sweet chords emanate.

"_Our eyes met over the cadaver," _he started singing, in the sweetest voice Addison had ever heard. Her eyes started filling up with tears. "_And I knew I had to have her_." Her mind wandered to her first day of Med School. Derek couldn't have described it better. "_And I tell you today, that's when she took my heart away!_" Derek himself was teary. This brought so many memories back, and yet, reminded him of the endless future awaiting.

"Do my verse! Do my verse!" Mark screamed.

"_And in that gross anatomy class, I could only think of Addison's fine ass!_" Addison laughed and let a few tears fall. She walked towards Derek and sat right in front of him. She watched closely as his fingers moved the strings, beautifully. Her friends' drunken laughs were now silent to her. "_Had his mitral valve gotten too thick? Was that what made the cadaver so sick?"_ She could only hear the strumming sound of Derek's guitar and the deep sound of his voice. Derek continued. "_I asked her name, you see, and she answered to me…_"

All of a sudden, breaking her trance, everybody in the room burst into a chorus. "_Addison Montgomery! He met her in the summer she was cutting up a very dead body!_" Addison looked down in laughter and didn't even notice when Derek's guitar – and everyone's frantic laugh – stopped. Derek touched her face, pulling it up. Their gazes met.

"_And in her eyes I saw my life. I knew that she would be my wife. _" The shades of blue in Derek's eyes were mixed together in a shapeless manner by the tears building up. Addison smiled, emotional, letting her eyes close. She felt his touch on her fragile skin and all her nerves swam up to her epidermis. He leaned in, closer to her ears, and whispered: "_And she would breathe the life back into me._" Addison felt the tears falling from her eyelids involuntarily. She rested his fingers on top of his and felt his wedding ring. "_From every day until eternity._" Addison looked into Derek's eyes. Was she sleeping for the last 5 years? Because life with Derek was a dream. Sam completed the song, in his deep, pitch-perfect voice: "_Or until I'd be as dead at that body!_"

Addison pulled Derek's head and kissed him fiercely. He threw the guitar away and hugged her waist, until she was sitting down on his lap. He ran his hands through her now messy hair, and she could barely keep her body up straight. The feel of their lips rubbing together was different that night. It felt better, safer.

"Everybody, I think it's time for their wedding night!" Naomi started laughing hysterically. Derek immediately stood up and got them all jammed together in one single cab. When he got back inside, Addison was standing in the middle of the room, in her wedding dress, but, no veil or shoes.

"_From every day until eternity?" _She asked, smiling. Derek ran towards her, grabbed her waist and lifted her until they were both the same height.

"I love you." He said.

"I love you." She said.

And they let themselves fall on the floor, letting their love linger on for the rest of the night.

**Three hours later**

It was six in the morning already and neither of them had slept one bit. Their naked bodies were wrapped together and sprawled on the living room carpet. Addison's eyes were closing slowly.

"Don't." Derek whispered, kissing her forehead.

"What?" She asked, already feeling half-asleep.

"Don't fall asleep. Stay awake. Let's cherish this moment before it's over." Addison opened up her eyes widely and stared at him. "Stay awake because I'm not tired, and I can't stand a minute without you. Not today. And I wanna look at you and know that you're looking back at me. I wanna know that you feel it too. Right here." He rested his hand on her chest. "So, please, stay awake."

_END OF FLASHBACK_

Ironically, Addison felt her eyelids getting heavy and closing together in one single blow. She took a deep breath and felt her mind shutting down, leaving the real world out and sinking into the most beautiful dream.

* * *

**YES, I TOOK THE LIBERTY OF FINISHING DEREK'S SONG. MARK'S VERSE JUST COULDN'T BE LEFT BEHIND HEHE.**


	7. Second Chance

**Thank you so much for all the incredible reviews!**

Chapter 7 – Second Chance

**Seattle, Washington**

"Look who just showed up to brighten up our party, ladies and gentlemen." Mark smiled, punching Derek on the forearm. Mark Sloan, Erica Hahn and Callie Torres were sitting on the attending's lounge, chit chatting and waiting for Derek to return from Pittsburgh.

"Yes, I'm finally back!"

"What exactly were you doing in Pittsburgh?" Erica started. "I hear it was a cool procedure." She took a sip of her steaming hot coffee.

"Yes, it was an aneurysm clipping." Derek smiled awkwardly, knowing what they would ask next.

"C'mon now, Shepherd." Callie broke the silence. "You do like three of those a day! What's so cool about the one in Pittsburgh?"

"There was another surgeon operating with me, simultaneously."

"Another brain surgeon?"

"No, it was a neonatal surgeon. The woman was pregnant with twins with late-stage TTTS. "

"Wow! That is cool!" Mark said, smiling at Derek. "Who was the neonatal surgeon?"

Before Derek could answer, he looked beside him. Meredith Grey, who was passing by, stopped and stared at Derek, as if waiting to hear his answer.

"Do you remember Liv Lennon from residency?" Derek lied, still watching Meredith out the door.

"Yeah, sure!" Mark smiled. "She was so crazy about you and Addison! She thought you were the happiest couple ever and that you guys would never end." The smile started to slowly fade away from Mark's face. Derek could see that Meredith walked away.

"Yeah, it wasn't her. It was Addison." Derek smiled.

"It was Addison?" Callie asked, interested. "You operated on a pregnant woman with Addison less than a week after she left?"

"Yes." Derek's smile persisted on his face.

"How is she?"

"Oh, she is… great. She's really… great." They realized Derek had no words to describe Addison. "She's an amazing surgeon."

"Yes, she is." Mark said, unbelieving. "Dr. Hahn, didn't you have that valve replacement to do?"

"Yeah! Thanks for reminding me, Sloan." Erica stood up. "Nice seeing you, Derek."

Callie looked at Derek and Mark at the same time. "You guys want me to get lost, don't you?"

"Yes." Mark said, unforgiving.

"Fine." Callie stood up and left the room.

"Why did you kick both of them out of-" Before Derek could finish the sentence, Mark interrupted him.

"What happened out there, Derek?"

"What?"

"What happened in Pittsburgh?"

"I operated on a mother of unborn twins."

"Is that all that happened?"

"Why do you ask?"

"C'mon, Derek. I'm your best man. My job is basically to make you look good. And, if the word gets out that you slept with Addison again, you will not look good."

"Just like I looked great when the word got out that _you_ slept with Addison?"

"That's different."

"Is it, Mark? Because as far as I know, you seduced my wife inside our own house! As far as I know, you're the one responsible for ending our marriage! If I'd sent another doctor that night, Addison and I would still be married!"

"You know that to be a lie, Derek. Me sleeping with Addison was the tip of the iceberg. You had an amazing woman at home and all you cared about was your surgeries." Mark was trying his best to stay cool. Derek, however, was not.

"Addison told me the story, Mark! I know exactly what happened that night!"

"So, you know I'm the least to blame here?"

"The least to blame? Then who the hell is the most to blame?"

"You know what, Derek? You slept with Addison and I think that's great."

"Did I say I slept with Addison? Did you hear me say I slept-"

"What you need to know is:" Mark interrupted. "Addison told you the story so you know it was the forth night in a row you left her there, waiting for you." Derek started thinking. "And, she was so mad at this that she slept with your best friend in the first opportunity she had."

"You're right!" Derek, all of a sudden, yelled. "We were both immature! We both needed to grow up! And, now we have!"

"Yes, Derek. This is your second chance."

"Oh, my God, Mark! I can't believe I blamed you! I can't believe I blamed _Addison_! I should've been more responsible, I should've been more mature!"

"Oh, don't worry, Derek. You were right to blame me. I was in love with Addison then. And, no, I didn't do this because I loved her; I did this because I was angry at how much I would _never _have what you guys had." Derek finally got his point. "For a moment, I allowed myself to wish that Addison would love me as much as she loved you. But, she wouldn't. And, I got angry. Very angry. And all I wanted to do was have Addison for me, even if I had to _steal_ her from you."

"But, Mark-"

"I'm not proud of what I did." Mark interrupted. "And I knew that Addison needed to be with you again."

"So, why did you live with her for a couple of months?"

"I lived with her because I loved her. I slept with someone else because I knew that if I really loved her, I'd have to let her go."

"And, couldn't you just tell her to go?"

"Addison would never come to Seattle if I just "told her to". She never denies happiness when it's offered to her. "

"And you offered her happiness?"

"Yes, Derek, because I loved her more than she would ever love me back." Mark had a quick laugh. "I had the perfect plan, you know? I slept with my tennis coach's wife. He was a dumbass, he'd never come after me."

"How did you know I was in Seattle?"

"We lived in the brownstone for a while, after you left. And you got a call from Richard Webber. He was asking about you, because someone told him you had come back. And that's when I made contact, and told him about the amazing OBGYN in New York."

"So, _you_ brought her here?"

"Yes, Derek, I'm a constant surprise. But, you were with Meredith when Addison got here."

"Yes, Meredith." Derek said her name with such disdain that Mark instantly knew things weren't going so well between them.

"She ruined the plan. If it wasn't for her, you guys would be back together right now." Before Derek could answer, Mark got a page. "Gotta go, it's a burn!" He stood up and left quickly.

Derek took a deep breath. "Life, you always surprise me."

**Los Angeles**

"What the hell took you so long?"

"Calm down, Naomi, I was saving lives."

"Then save lives here! Sam is so mad at you."

"I'm here right now, aren't I?" Addison threw her purse on the couch of her office. "And I'm ready to see patients."

"No, no, this is wrong."

"What's wrong? Me seeing patients? I'm a doctor, Nai, get used to it!"

"No, not that. You're way too smiley."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"You're smiling way too much. What happened in Pittsburgh?"

"Nothing, it was… an interesting case! The woman had an aneurysm and-" Naomi suddenly knew what Addison had been up to.

"Aneurysm? Addison, was there a brain surgeon out there with you?"

"Yes."

"Was that brain surgeon Derek Shepherd?"

"Yes."

"Did you sleep with Dr. Derek Shepherd?"

Addison hesitated. "Yes."

"Oh, my God, Addison! You'll never get over him like that!"

"_What if I don't want to get over him, Naomi? _You said it yourself, I'm smiling more! I'm happy! Isn't that something you want? For me? For yourself! "

"Addison, you and Derek are wrong together."

"I have patients." And Addison left the room.

In the main lobby, she took her chart and yelled the name of the first patient of the day.

"Elizabeth Harrison!"

A woman in her twenties, with light brown long hair, walked up to Addison. She was tall and thin and had a worried look on her face Addison never saw before. "Hello, Mrs. Harrison, how are you? I'm Dr. Montgomery."

"It's Miss Harrison, actually."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Why don't you come back, Miss Harrison?"

**Addison's Office**

"So, you think you're pregnant, huh?" Addison asked, while rubbing the ultra-sound scope on her flat belly.

"Yeah. And I can't be pregnant. I have no husband, no boyfriend and just got into Med School."

"Oh, awesome! Do you already know what specialty you'll wanna do?"

"I always wanted to be a brain surgeon."

"That's a great specialty!" Addison hoped she didn't seem overly excited for that. She looked at Elizabeth's abdomen. There was a distinctive dolphin tattoo on the lower part of it, almost at the groin. "That's a very nice tattoo."

"Yeah, I got it a long time ago. Don't even remember when or where. Or even what it meant. It was like I woke up and this tattoo was here. And the weirdest thing is I once saw a guy at the beach with the exact same tattoo. Weird, huh?" Addison found it weird, but, figured it must've been a drunken night. She looked back at the ultra-sound screen. The news were bad.

"I'm sorry, Elizabeth. You are definitely pregnant."

Elizabeth's eyes filled up with tears. "When can I schedule an abortion?"

"Maybe you should speak to our therapist, Dr. Turner, before making this decision."

"I can't be pregnant, Dr. Montgomery! I need to abort this baby! I'm sorry, I can't stay here anymore." Elizabeth stood up and left Addison's office without saying another word.

**Five minutes later**

Addison yelled the name of her next patient.

"Carly Evans!"

Suddenly, the same woman from her last appointment came in her direction.

"Elizabeth, thank God you decided to revisit the issue."

"I'm sorry?" The woman sounded confused.

"Elizabeth?"

"No, Dr. Montgomery. I'm Carly Evans, you just called my name." Addison was freaked out. Even their voices were the same.

"Do you have a twin sister, Ms. Evans?"

"No. And it's actually Mrs. Evans." Addison was confused. Were they twins separated at birth?

"What brings you here?"

"I think I'm pregnant. And I really hope I am, my husband and I have been wanting a baby for very long." Addison suddenly had a thought. This could be much worse than twins separated at birth.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Evans, and I know this may sound weird, but, do you have a tattoo on your lower abdomen?"

"Yes, I do, actually!" She lifted her shirt and revealed a distinctive dolphin tattoo. "My husband and I got it together!"

Addison was sure. The patient suffered from Multiple Personality Disorder.

**SO, HEY GUYS! HOW DO YOU LIKE MY NEW PSYCHIATRIC STORYLINE? I'M NOT SURE ABOUT IT, SO, PLEASE, REVIEW AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! :D**


	8. Ti ricordi di me?

**All the Italian on this chapter was only possible because of the help of my good friend Ilaria Marilli. Grazie di cuore! **

**Thank you all for reviewing! **

**

* * *

**Chapter 8 – _Ti ricordi di me?_

"Violet, can I speak to you for a second?" Addison opened Violet's office door and looked inside, seeing that she wasn't with any patients.

"Sure, what's going on?"

"I've got a patient I'd like you to see." Violet and Addison left the office, walking towards the kitchen.

"What's wrong with her?"

"She's got multiple personalities' disorder."

"You mean_ DID_?"

Addison went into the kitchen with very slow steps. She picked up a glass of green juice and sat down, her back facing the door.

"What's _DID_?"

"Dissociative Identity Disorder. Multiple profiles, distorted self-image, you know the drill."

"Yes, that's what she has." Addison said, confidently.

"Don't you think I should be diagnosing her?"

"Both her personalities showed up here today, Violet! One of them wanted me to abort her child, and the other one was thrilled that she was pregnant and was seeking pre-natal care."

"Oh, that involves an ethical grey area…"

"That's what I'm trying to say."

"Addison, before I step in here, you must be sure that these two women are actually… one woman."

"They had the same tattoo. I'm telling you, there is something wrong with her brain!"

All of a sudden, a different voice spoke.

"Brain? I know someone who could take care of that." Addison looked behind her, in astonishment. A young woman, appearing to be in her mid to late twenties, leaned against the kitchen door. Her shoulders were covered by thick black hair and her thin body was hugged by basic jeans and a tank top. Her eyes, staring at Addison, were of an unmistakable blue. Her lips were contracted in a very bright smile. "Hey, Addie. Remember me?"

Addison could only think of two words. "_No way._"

"Amelia Shepherd?" Addison stood up and ran towards her, giving her a firm hug. Violet knew what the last name "Shepherd" meant, and sneaked out of the kitchen, leaving the two alone.

"Addison Montgomery." Amelia giggled. "You've aged!"

"May I say the same?" Addison laughed. "Where have you been, Amy? Last time I spoke to you, you were living in Italy!"

"Yeah, yeah. _È una vecchia storia ormai._"

"Huh?"

"It's all in the past now." They both giggled.

"I can't believe how much I missed you." Addison put her hands on Amelia's shoulder. "We have so much to talk about. And, by the way, my brother is the only one who calls me Amy these days. It's Amelia for everyone else."

"Oh my God, you're so grown up!" Addison touched Amelia's face. That girl was like a daughter for her. Amelia smiled.

"Speaking of my brother, where is he?"

"In Seattle, of course."

"Why isn't he here with you?" Addison felt her heart ache.

"We're divorced, Amelia. He doesn't have to live here with me."

"Come on, Addie. I could see you too divorced. I mean, I was fine with that. But, separated? 900 miles apart? I can't see that."

"Why?"

"Because you two hate each other!" Addison was confused. "And it's so intense that you have to stay together stay together anyway, otherwise you'll both go crazy! You gotta show each other the hate, killing each other with your eyes, until you both realize that this hate is actually love." Addison looked at her. She knew Amelia was right. "And fighting is the only way you two have to discover your love. Haven't you ever heard that once you lose something, you start giving it its proper value?"

"Yeah."

"You and my brother? The concrete example. And once you do find your love, it's much stronger than the hate."

"The hate part was pretty strong. Ended our marriage."

"You know, a divorce is the ultimate fight. Maybe it's time to find the ultimate love." Addison smiled.

"I've got a patient. Why don't you wait for me at home?"

* * *

**Addison's House, An hour later**

"I see you've opened up my good bottle of scotch." Addison came in through the glass doors and joined Amelia sitting down in front of the beach. Amelia raised her glass and gave it a half-smile. "So, we have a lot to talk about, huh?" Addison said, pouring herself a glass of scotch on the rocks.

"That we do." Amelia smiled. "For starters, I'd like you to explain why you moved here and left my brother in Seattle."

"No, I go first. Why did you move to Rome?"

"It's pretty obvious, Addie. Wanted to be closer to Castel Sant'Angelo." Amelia laughed ironically.

"C'mon, Amy. Tell me the truth."

"Okay, but I haven't told anyone else about this. I was heading a clinical trial on neurosurgery on Huntington's patients at La Speranza Medical Center. Don't tell my brother." Addison was surprised.

"No kidding! Amelia, that's great!"

"You know me, huh, Addie? _Always chasing rainbows_." Amelia and Addison shared a smile.

"Why haven't you told anyone?"

"Nobody even knows I'm a brain surgeon."

"Why? This is such an amazing thing about you! I think you should-"

"Derek fully dissected a brain on the eighth grade." Amelia interrupted. "First year Med School, he scrubbed in on a cerebral arteriovenous malformation surgery." Addison smiled. That was quite true. She was there. "He even performed a full lobectomy by himself as an intern. And, then, he married Archer Montgomery's sister."

"What are you getting at?"

"I'll never be anywhere near what Derek was as a brain surgeon. Yes, I was leading a clinical trial on Huntington's, but, I'm an Ivy-League-educated neurosurgeon! That's the least I could do!"

"That's not true."

"It is, Addison. You just don't know it 'cause you never felt it. _Sei la miglore._ You're the best." Addison didn't know what to say.

"Okay." She later regretted saying that. "So, what were you gonna ask me?"

"Why, why did you move to L.A.?" Amelia aimed her fists at the sky, as if her question was intended to heavens. Addison laughed, but, quickly regained her serious face.

"To be honest, Amelia, right now, I can't tell you why. I don't know why. It was impulsive and stupid. I guess I was just trying to get away of an uncomfortable situation."

"What uncomfortable situation?"

"Derek and I are divorced. And I guess we didn't wanna admit that things were left incomplete. So, you were kind of avoiding each other."

"Typical." Amelia said. "Let me guess: You had a few drunken relapses with Sloan and my brother is seeing a resident who's my age?"

"Yes, except that Derek is actually seeing an intern who is, umm, half your age."

"WHAT?"

"That was my reaction too."

"I can't believe this! Oh, my God, Derek is so stupid! You have got to fix this, Addie."

"How?"

"Flying to Seattle. I'll come with you. We'll book the flights tonight!"

"No, Amelia! I'm not flying to Seattle! I have a job here, I have patients here! And, besides, I already slept with him again."

"WHAT?" Amelia yelled. Addison giggled. "You slept with him again? When did this happen?"

"It was a few days ago, in Pittsburgh. We were both called in, by our old friend Liv, remember her? We had to operate on a woman together. And then, we went together to my hotel, and one thing led to another..." She smiled.

"Addison, I'm gonna ask you something and I want you to be 100% honest with me."

"Okay."

"Do you still love my brother?"

Addison experienced a few seconds of hesitation. "_Yes._"

"Oh, my God, this is so wrong!" Amelia took both hands to her face.

"What's wrong? Me loving your brother?"

"No! You two are obviously still hung up on each other, not to mention that you will never find love like you found with Derek again, and you're denying it by living here!"

"Do you really think Derek and I are meant to be?"

"You don't? C'mon, Addie, I knew it the minute I saw you two together! Now, just go back to Seattle, see him again, and marry him again for Christ's sake! He'll make your teenage dream of having a husband and kids come true!"

"Amelia, if I go back to Seattle, we'll fight again and won't speak to each other."

"You might." Amelia said. "Or, you might get everything you've been wanting since you were fifteen."

Addison was silent for a few seconds, speechless. "Derek." She whispered.

"Yes. You have to make the first move, because Derek, he's an avoider, he avoids, it's what he does."

"Is that why you moved back from Italy? You avoiding someone?" Addison smiled.

"His name is Lorenzo."

"Knew it."

"I'm a Shepherd." Amelia said, with her young smile lighting up. "I avoid."

All of a sudden, Addison looked astonished and taken aback.

"What's wrong?" Addison didn't answer. "What's wrong?"

Amelia looked behind her and, suddenly, felt like crying. Standing in the doorway, Derek Shepherd, with his thick black hair and eyes of unmistakable blue, dropped his bouquet of red roses.

* * *

"What is she doing here?" Vociferated Derek, pointing at his sister, who was sitting down on the couch. Addison and Derek were standing up, arguing in the middle of the living room. It was raining outside and the spot where Amelia and Addison were sitting was already completely soaked.

"Don't talk to me like that, Derek! I'm you sister!""

"Are you? And where were you when dad was murdered? Or when I divorced Addie? Where were you when I most needed you? Living in Europe!"

"Because she was trying to be half the surgeon you are!"

"What?"

"Addison, I told you not to tell-"

"Shut up, Amelia. Derek deserves to know the truth. Amelia is a brain surgeon."

"What? When?"

"When I finished at Harvard Med, I got accepted as a neurosurgical resident at Hopkins." Amelia whispered. Derek looked at Addison.

"You knew about this?"

"Found out today."

"Why didn't you tell me, Amelia!"

"Because then you'd tell mom. And she'd tell Uncle Barney. And Uncle Barney would tell everyone else."

"And what the hell is the problem with that!"

Amelia stood up, with tears filling her eyes. "Because, Derek, no matter how much I tried, I could never reach your level! You were always one step ahead of me, in everything that we did!" She blinked, and tears fell through her cheeks. Her voice was weakened. "I will never be as good as you are, in anything, and I can't stand the comparison! I'm not Derek, I'm Amelia! I'm my own person, and I was NOT meant to be great! I just wish everybody would leave me alone and stop saying how much I'm not a true Shepherd." Amelia let herself fall back onto the couch. Derek looked away.

"Some are born great." Derek stared talking, slowly. "Some achieve greatness." His face was already throbbing with blood, and his cheeks were taken by a scarlet tone. He looked at Amelia. "But some have greatness thrust upon them."

Addison looked into Derek's eyes. "Don't go." He read her lips.

"I'm sorry, I can't be here anymore." And walked through the door, leaving Addison's house. Outside, the rain soaked that bouquet of red, velvety roses. Crying for no one.

* * *

**Disclaimer: Neither La Speranza Medical Center nor their Huntington's clinical trials are realistic. They are both a creation of David Shore and belong to House, M.D.**

**The underlined phrase is by the great William Shakespeare. **


	9. Love Dealer

**Thanks for reviewing!**

Chapter 9 – Love Dealer

"You think I should go after him?" Addison took a sip of her glass of Scotch. Amelia still had tears in her eyes.

"I don't even think he's in L.A." She wiped her face with the back of her hand. "Seeing me was too much of a shock for him."

"No, Derek is not like that." Addison brought her knees to her chest, curling up on the couch. "Derek is not the kind that just flees out like that." All of a sudden, the phone started ringing.

"You're not gonna answer that?" Amelia pointed at the phone.

"It can probably wait." Addison answered, letting her head fall backwards, to the back of the couch. The answering machine picked it up.

"Dr. Montgomery?" The speaker said out loud. "This is from St. Ambrose Hospital."

"What the hell?" She whispered, right before hearing his next sentence.

"_It's about your patient, a Carly Evans?_"

All of a sudden, Addison leaped across the room and threw herself at the phone. "What happened?"

On the other side of the phone, the news about her patient made Addison shiver. "Mrs. Evans has had a few problems. She has presented with severe burns."

"Why? How did this happen? "

"Her husband said that she was making fries with a pan full of boiling oil. Apparently, everything was normal until she had a nervous breakdown and suddenly, not recognized her husband anymore. "

"Oh." Addison knew exactly what happened.

"They got into a physical fight and she accidentally spilled boiling oil onto herself."

"Oh, my God."

"Her chest is severely disfigured and we don't know if the baby is alive."

"I'll be over in five minutes." Addison hung up the phone, mortified.

"What happened, Addie?" Amelia asked.

"My Multiple Personalities' patient, Carly Evans. She had a breakdown."

"Oh my God!"

"Yes, she burned herself with boiling oil."

"Do you want me to go over there with you?"

"Sure, let's go!"

* * *

**St. Ambrose Hospital**

"Dammit, Addison Montgomery, what the hell took y'all so long?" A blond woman with a southern accent pulled Addison by the arm.

"That bad, huh?" Amelia asked, peeking over Addison's shoulder.

"Who is this now?" Charlotte pointed at Amelia.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I'm Amelia Shepherd."

"Shepherd?" Charlotte asked, shaking Amelia's hand. She turned to Addison. "Don't I know someone with the last name Shepherd?"

"No, you don't, let's see my patient!" Addison pushed Charlotte and Amelia towards the ER. Charlotte opened up the drapes, revealing a horrific image.

Carly Evans was lying down on the hospital bed, her face taken by a morbid tone of scarlet, tears flowing involuntarily from her eyes. Nurses carefully wiped the black dust from her arms, while Carly screamed in pain. The burns started on her shoulders. Her fair skin had been burned to the point of leaving nothing but raw tissue, pulsating with blood. She was wired up to a monitor that showed her rapid heart rate. Addison could almost see the blood passing through, heavily. Painfully.

Her black lace bra had turned into ashes, and her stomach was completely absent of healthy skin. Addison couldn't help but look at her slightly prominent uterus, wondering if her baby was able to survive such a serious accident. She leaned over and talked to her.

"Carly, it's Dr. Montgomery. You're okay now."

"Dr. Montgomery!" She moaned. "Why are you calling me Carly? Why is everybody calling me Carly? I'm Elizabeth! I'm a 25-year-old Med Student; I'm from Dayton, Ohio! I'm single!"

"Okay, Elizabeth, I'm sorry. I know who you are, now, let's make sure we get you better, okay?"

Addison walked away from the patient, very slowly. Her face had a worried look.

"So, what's the prognosis?" Amelia asked.

"Very tough one." Addison said. "3rd to 4th degree burns in 30% of the body."

"Pretty much a gonner, huh? I kinda already knew when I called you-"

"She can be saved." Addison interrupted.

"Montgomery, she'll need multiple skin grafts-"

"I know."

"We might even save her, but the baby-"

"No. We can save them both."

"She's gonna need an amazing plastic surgeon." Amelia started. "More than that, Addie. She's gonna need-"

"_Mark Sloan._"

"You wanna call Mark Sloan? Here?"

"Yes. That's our only hope!"

"Who is Mark Sloan?" Charlotte asked.

"He's a plastic surgeon I know from Seattle."

"Addie slept with him." Amelia giggled.

"Shut up, Amelia! He's our only hope, Charlotte." Addison looked at her patient, lying on the hospital bed on excruciating pain. "He's Carly's only hope."

"Then what are you waiting for? Call the man already!" Charlotte said, walking away.

"Addie, do you really think Mark is the person to call here? With my brother here and all?"

"Amelia, this is not about me or Derek! This is about the patient!"

"Still! Derek is a man child, Addison! He'll see Mark here and he'll freak out!"

"Amelia, I need to do this." They both looked at the bed. Charlotte was standing beside the patient, caressing her hair slowly, trying to calm her down. She was still crying. "I need to do this for her."

Amelia hesitated. "Okay, then! Call Mark!"

* * *

**8 HOURS LATER**

"Hey, Elizabeth." Addison walked into her patient's room smiling. She had her whole skin covered up by gauze, and her face, though not crying and screaming anymore, wasn't relaxed.

"Hey, Dr. Montgomery." She said, in a weak voice, like the words slipped out of her lips in pain.

"I have excellent news. I have brought you someone who can fix you and keep your baby alive."

"No, Dr. Montgomery, that's not what I want!" She all of a sudden found strength to speak. "I wanna abort this baby before it's too late!"

Addison didn't know what to do. She knew Elizabeth's _alter ego _still wanted that child. She, for the first time in her life, made up an excuse. "We can't perform an abortion on you like this. You have to let this doctor fix your skin first, okay?"

"Who is he?" Addison's face lit up in a huge smile. She opened up the door.

Mark Sloan walked in, and everything else turned black and white. He had a smile on his perfect face that Addison already associated with good times. His defined arm and abdominal muscles had just the perfect shape that made her fly right off the ground. But his grey eyes offered her comfort, as if hugging her in thought and never letting her go. His slow, gentle walk, created and air gush that hit Addison in the face inebriating her, making her feel like no matter what she did right now, it would be okay.

"Now I understand why I cheated." Addison thought, silently.

"Hello, Elizabeth." He said, in a deep, smoky voice that made the patient shiver. "I'm doctor Mark Sloan."

"He's a plastic surgeon." Addison walked closed to them. "He's a great plastic surgeon."

"C'mon, Addie." He laughed softly, making Addison's nerves climb up to the epidermis. "You're a double board certified neonatal surgeon, and I'm just 'a great plastic surgeon'?"

"Okay, he is the best plastic surgeon I've ever met!"

"That's more like it." He kissed Addison on the forehead, and she smiled involuntarily. "Now, let's take a look at you." Mark started gently unwrapping her bandages to look at her skin. "Oh, you're a tough one, aren't you? You'll need skin grafts."

Elizabeth looked sad.

"Hey, don't worry, I can do it! I'll tell you what, I bet a glass of brandy that you will walk out of here sooner than you think." Elizabeth smiled.

"And this is a man who is very serious about his brandy." Addie whispered.

"We should let Elizabeth rest for a while before the surgery. Would you care to join me outside, Addie?"

* * *

"So, you can really save her, huh?"

"Addie, I've been your friend for over twenty years, and you haven't given me a hug since I got here."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Mark!" Addison threw herself onto Mark's body. "I'm so happy to see you." He held her closer to his body than she ever was, missing that woman with every cell of his being.

"Now, this is just perfect." A familiar voice spoke, breaking their moment.

"Oh, my God." Mark said. "This is not what you think."

Addison was speechless. The only word she could say was the name of the man standing in front of them, with an angry, confused look on his face.

"Derek."


End file.
